Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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