The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
