goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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