chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
