You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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