i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize