And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
