Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
