I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sarcasm needs its own font
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
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