i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
