The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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