is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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