just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
