we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
