yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
