is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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