great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
