I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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