She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
