dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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