Betty ford says i'm here all night
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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