Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
time to smoke my breakfast
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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