Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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