Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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