If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
