I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I will be naked everywhere
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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