A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
