I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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