oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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