How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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