I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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