so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wear drunk well.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
