i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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