it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
