i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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