Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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