is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this just has baby written all over it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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