you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
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They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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