i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...