I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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