the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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