i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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