The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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