was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
