well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
