love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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