she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
