I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
