The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
