Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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