Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
