let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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