what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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