he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize