I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How does one acquire holy water?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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