Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
