you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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