i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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