holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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