i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
