just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
