Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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