Where is the hickey?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
