dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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