i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I need moral support for this bender
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
