He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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