never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
