i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just google imaged poop.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
