I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
