took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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