Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
