That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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