Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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