i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
