So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
