The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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